I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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