Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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