glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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