i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
