It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize