How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got inside last night via doggy door
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
