he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
