if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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