So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize