I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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