I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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