that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
