i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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