under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
