in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
