Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
