Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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