Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
