your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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