puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
