I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize