Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
