It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
