So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
