i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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