This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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