how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The air was thick with penises
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
