Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
