I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize
