I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
