theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
