a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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