gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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