I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
