she looked like the before picture.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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