i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
