I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
