You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
