Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm really into asian looking animals
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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