she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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