sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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