I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
