Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
