My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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