I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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