So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize