dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
