So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
