I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
