Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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