she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
