Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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