wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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