there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
