The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Someone shit on the floor
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We left the knife in your bed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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