How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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