This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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